retrospect.

It's the eve of my birthday. I am hours away from saying goodbye to 21 and hello to the double deuces. It's been a whirlwind of a year. 21 has been uncomfortable, real, redemptive, joyful, transformative, and pure. I've experienced pure joy, uninterrupted laughter, and freedom. Pure. Unlike any other year of my life, it's brought about more transformation and growth than I've ever experienced. Who I am today, on the eve of my twenty-second birthday, is a completely different person than who I was a year ago. This year, more than any other, I've become. I've become more of the woman I was created to be. I've become more of myself. I've become more free. I leaned in close to my Father, and I think He's used the past year to grow me in significant and monumental ways. I am so grateful for that; for the fact that He is always working, always comforting, and always providing. I am slightly sad to be saying goodbye to such a crazy and wonderful year, but hopeful and excited for the things to come at 22.

At dinner the other night, my roommate and dear friend Johanna asked, "So, what's been the best moment of the past year?" In thinking about all that's happened over the past year, there's no way I could pick one amazing moment. I've had closer to 365 unforgettable moments, but I've narrowed down to 21.


21 most influential and unforgettable moments of 21


1. Turning 21 - On my 21st birthday, I walked home from class to footie pajamas hanging on the front door of our apartment, a decorated apartment, loving roommates and friends, and a taco dinner. I felt so loved, so cared about, and so known
2. Mal turning 21 - the dance party at this girl's birthday party, to this day, is the most pure definition of joy I've ever experienced
3. Becoming a Young Life leader - unexpected and overwhelming, and in hindsight, one of the best decisions I've ever made
4. Fall Weekend 2010 - my debut as a leader and my first time ever being in the position to love on high school girls and show them Jesus
5. NEEDTOBREATHE Concert at the House of Blues - dancing, roommates, and the soundtrack for our house
6. Decorating stockings at Bethesda - hot chocolate, roommates, cramped spaces, sharing art supplies, and holiday joy; togetherness and community
7. No money Christmas gift-exchange at Bethesda - hilarious, creative, and unforgettable
8. New Year's Day leggings as pants party - unashamed about spending New Year's Day wearing leggings as pants and laying on a couch with Heidi and Heather
9. SNOWPOCALYPSE - February 1, 2011 ... cancelled classes, cancelled clinicals, Starbucks adventures with roommates, snowed-in
10. Sometime around March, I started enjoying and feeling comfortable in my role as a Young Life leader 
11. Two weeks of nannying my sweet baby cousin - a little baby lovin' is good for the soul, ya know?
12. Studying Abroad - my third ever plane ride, incredible sights and food, and the realization that I'm not going to get along with everyone
13. Seeing my family for the first time, together, in Rome - we were at the Trevi Fountain, nearly a year after my mom broke her leg in Italy, together, a family, priceless and tear-provoking
14. Johanna DeLong coming to Florence - moments that make friendships lasting, staying up until 4 in the morning talking, and endless hours of time exploring a new place together
15. Sleeping outside on the balcony of our hotel in Monterosso, Italy, feeling the breeze from the Mediterranean Sea with Johanna in the chair next to me 
16. Hiking through the mountains of Cinque Terre with my siblings 
17. Percorino and pear stuffed pasta - easily the best meal I've ever eaten, ever in Siena, Italy
18. CASTAWAY - SUMMER STAFF and getting locked in a closet with the rest of summer staff on fourth of july, after watching heat lightening and fireworks
19. CASTAWAY - CAMP with kids, incredible
20. NEEDTOBREATHE secret concert with Heather - the best $20 dollars I've ever spent, a private concert and a night with one of my closest friends
21. The Get Slea$y for Jee$y tour - moving into Bethesda for another year of craziness and memories, feeling more connected than ever to the girls I live with


Now it's time for a little math. 7 x 3 = 21. Remember that.

7 influential people and groups of 21

1. Bethesda
2. North Shore Young Life
3. MissioDei
4. Heather
5. Sam
6. Johanna
7. Ben


7 influential and unforgettable places of 21

1. Bethesda
2. The route from Bethesda to Glenview : Ridge to Green Bay to Lake, driven at minimum 100 times
3. The bead cart at Castaway
4. The Cutter
5. Cinque Terre, Italy
6. Rome, Italy
7. Running, anywhere, anytime


7 words that make the most sense for 21

1. uncomfortable
2. transforming
3. free
4. dependence
5. becoming
6. something
7. beautiful


That's it. My twenty-first year in retrospect. Pretty incredible. Pretty transformative. Looking back at it all, I am so thankful. For everything; for the people, the places, the experiences, the hard times and the good times; for every single emotion and moment in the past year. I am so, so thankful. Thankful to the point of there-are-tears-in-my-eyes-right-now. Who knows what year 22 will hold, but when it's all said and done, if I can look back a year from now and say, 'I've become something more than I previously was,' I'll be happy.