Saturday, November 26, 2011

change vs. transformation

Right now, I am in the shuffle of packing up and getting ready to head back to school. In the midst of getting organized and figuring out what's staying here (movies and books and dirty laundry) and what's going back to Bethesda (homemade Christmas tree ornaments and ugly Christmas sweaters), I came across a journal from earlier this year.

It's the journal where, for a few months time this spring, I wrote detailed notes of church services at MissioDei. I began flipping through the pages and pages of notes and questions and prayers scribbled throughout the journal. There's a short phrase that stuck out as I began skimming. It's bolded, underlined, and has arrows pointing to it. I wonder why it stuck out to me.

CHANGE VS. TRANSFORMATION

Clear. Explicit. Salient. True. Thought provoking. Change. Versus. Transformation. There must be a reason I made such a distinct note of the phrase. A few lines down in my journal are a few questions. 

Don't ask what am I going to do, ask who am I becoming? 
Who am I becoming in light of the gospel of Jesus? 

Did you know that, according to my Google research, one of the first synonyms for the word transformation is the word change? I looked it up. I checked a few sources, actually, and they all confirmed that change is somewhere on the list of synonyms for transformation. My notes, as I look them over again, tell me otherwise. When I hear the word versus, I think of opposing sides. I was watching college football earlier with my Dad. Alabama vs. Auburn. Notre Dame vs. Stanford. Clemson vs. South Carolina. Those people are not playing on the same team. Quite the opposite. Although Google tells that me that change and transformation are on the same team, I have a hard time believe that's what Josh Taylor was saying back in January. The way I wrote those words in my notes and the way I look at them now and the way I believe them to be true in my life, tells me that change and transformation are not the same. 

If we're talking about change, there are certain questions and thoughts that come to my mind. What am I doing? How can I fix it? How can I make it better? What do I need to do differently in order to be better? What do I need to do differently to please you? What do I need to do differently, period? Change lies and makes us believe that we are in control, telling us that we have the power to fix our lives. Such an easy trap to fall into, allowing us to believe that with a little bit of work ... with a little weight loss or with newer clothes or with a boyfriend or girlfriend or with more stuff or less chocolate or with better listening ... we will be fulfilled in this life. None of those things will bring us fulfillment in this life. And if we're suck in this mindset of change, we're asking for trouble.

If we're talking about transformation, there's an entirely different set of questions and thoughts and conversations we need to be having with ourselves. In every circumstance and opportunity and choice and experience ... ask who am I becoming? Am I becoming more of my authentic self? Am I becoming something more or something less? Am I becoming more like Jesus? Am I really the one in control here?  Transformation allows us to see and feel and believe that God has a plan so much bigger and greater than anything we could come up with on our own. Transformation frees us to surrender control, gently reminding us of a God who desires, in every circumstance, to make us into something beautiful. 

At my core, I don't believe there is anything I can do, anything I can change on my own power and strength, to make me more. Becoming something more can only come when we surrender, ultimately and truthfully and wholly, to the God who desires our hearts and souls and minds. Transformation comes when we let go of trying to make change happen.


Which do you choose? Do change and transformation mean different things for your life? Are they always mutually exclusive? Can change ever bring transformation? Can transformation ever bring change? 

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